Cigar of the Week (week of 26 January 2015): Gurkha Xtreme + Gurkha Wicked Indie

Dear reader.

I, the Goat–YOUR Goat–was barred from by beloved leaves, those which I smoke and gnaw, by a mystery illness which I suspect was the Goat Pox. Permit me to catch up by reviewing TWO of Gurkha’s sticks this week, in anticipation of our Gurkha party, which you really ought to attend, on Friday, February 6th.

Away we go.

CIGAR OF THE WEEK (1)

Gurkha Xtreme:

The boxes remind me of a first generation original Xbox. The band has a hissing king cobra on it. Ken Mansfield, the Gurkha rep., says it is the strongest cigar he has ever smoked.

It is very strong.

Dear reader, I’ve a head heavy with analogies and will be dumping three of them here. There is no need for you to read all three. Skip to that which you prefer, whichever resonates with you. If you read all three, you like my writing more than I do.

A Visual Analogy

They turned the contrast up really high, starkening (is that a word? I’m going for it) the color palette of red hot scorching strength and cool mellow earth tones. The contrast draws attention to the mellow notes, heightens one’s experience of them.

A Culinary Analogy

Beyond the strength lies rustic, mellow, natural sweet earth, leather, rustic woodsiness, a slight meatiness, and, of course, some spice. The strength pushes you away as the flavor pulls, like the heat in Thai cuisine or other spicy foods–there’s an exhilarating workout between you and the flavor, and the strength lights up one’s palate like hot peppers do, for enhanced tasting. Here, the taste of the nicotine even works almost like mint or menthol for a kind of refreshing effect.

A Musical Analogy

Have you ever worked really hard to discern, to focus on the vocals or a guitar line at a really loud concert? Or think about metal or noisy hard rock or electronic music that begins chaotic or caustic before its formerly disparate strands wind together in harmony, or sweet melody emerges. The melody or harmony is all the sweeter for having begun in or emerged from“chaos” (was it James Dobson or Ravi Zacharias or R.C. Sproul who made the point that, of course, it is logically impossible for any creative act to produce actual chaos?) or noise or discord.

End analogies

Okay, we’re caught up to present. Good. Now, as promised, another cigar:

CIGAR OF THE WEEK (2)

Wicked Indie

Gurkha hunts for rare tobaccos like a cigar Indiana Jones, and contracts with various factories and laborers. That makes for a diverse portfolio of eclectic cigars. A constant: Gurkha cigars primarily use a palette of earth tones. I would guess Mr. Hansotia prefers mellow, balanced, elegant flavors; no neon, no florescent colors, no flavors that SCREAM their arrival. I smoke Gurkhas and feel that I can taste the contempt Mr. Hansotia has for such gaudiness.

The Wicked Indie makes for a good introduction to the Gurkha style. It is medium bodied, perhaps waxing medium-full, but wicked? Is it spicy? Potent? Goat hardly knows anymore.

It leads with a strong, zesty tobacco flavor note that walks a tightrope between leather, wood, alcohol, and an almost citrus like tangy, slightly acidic, almost metallic at points, taste. Four is too many for between? FINE. It walks a tightrope BETWEEN leather and wood and ABOVE a tangy note that resembles citrus and at times skews metallic, and it sways in the gusts of alcohol wind. Happy? WELL NOT ME!

I’m honestly fine.

The finish smacks of roasted coffee, and, especially later in the stick, leafy tea arrives, with an occasional herb like note showing up as well. The smoke has a somewhat creamy character and flirts with milky chocolate. The spice notes are nothing a casual smoker or an occasional smoker can’t handle.

Also: they start at 5.95.

For an introduction to Gurkha, one could do a lot worse. If you buy one on party day (FRIDAY FEBRUARY 6TH FROM 3-8 PM!!!), you get a raffle ticket. You could win a knife or something.

Until next time,

Goat

Cigar of the Week (week of 5 January 2015): Gurkha Cellar Reserve Edicion Especial (18 Year)

Cigar Goat here.

Happiest of Holidays, and Happy New Year.

This one will be short, but brief.

Forgive me. I am hungover from the holidays.

A holiday hangover may but does not necessarily involve any kind of alcohol hangover.

The Sweetbriar Cigar Goat does not drink. Being a goat, he is uninterested in any preparation of plants that cannot be gnawed on.

The Goat’s holiday hangover is due to a packed itinerary.

Yet here he is, having lost none of his (irritating?) propensity for speaking in third person.

But enough about that—we’ve a February 6^th party coming up, and plenty of time to recover and plan for it. To that end:

Cigar of the Week: Gurkha Cellar Reserve Edicion Especial (18 Year)

We are still in Gurkha Month at Sweetbriar, week 3 of 8 (Note: Gurkha Month runs 8 weeks  and encompasses all of January along with portions of December and February).

Near as I can tell, the original, Criollo[1] wrapped[2] Cellar Reserve blend came out in 2011, with the Brazillian maduro[3] wrapped Cellar Reserve Limitada following in 2013.

My powers of Goat deduction tell me that if the 15 year old Dominican filler was first used in the 2011 version of the stick, it is now 3 years older than it was, hence the box claim of “Aged 18 Years.” Halfwheel and the Gurkha website tell me that apparently Gurkha hunted and found an 18 year old corojo[4] wrapper to complete the blend.

Well, the 18 years would explain a lot. Tobacco often gets mellow in its old age.

Corojo often tastes of rustic, sweet, almost barbecue like wood, and often also carries tingly sweet spices. Corojo wrapped cigars (at least those branded as corojo) also, and I know not whether this is usually native to the leaf itself or by the blender’s design, tend to be bold and strong.

Other corojo sticks[5]—is it bad form to mention cigars by other companies in a review of a Gurkha cigar? I’m going for it—like the Camacho Diploma and the Don Pepin Garcia Original (blue label) deliver barbecue wood sweet ‘n tangy by way of a kick in the teeth.

“That sounds painful. Who would want that?” thinks the former football player, biting into an Xtra spicy hot wing after a long day in the tanning bed.
You need to smoke more.

Seriously, all this GTL and you’re a closed minded lout who is more insufferable than a snarky talking goat. REEVALUATE, I EXHORT YOU!

The Gurkha Cellar Reserve EE delivers all the rustic, sweet woodsy flavor one would expect from a corojo wrapped cigar. But it is light. Light on the palate, almost impossibly so.

It is hard to believe. Corojo woodsy often has battering ram manners. This cigar? It’s as though the smoke I smell driving by Country’s transformed into ethereal barbecue pit smoke fairies, and said fairies ride the wind into my mouth and dance an impossibly fleet, airy, light footed waltz over my palate.

Like the Cuban Montecristo Cigar Goat smoked at [redacted] and other Cuban-ish cigars, this stick’s flavor is oddly singular. The notes are hard to pry apart. Or rather, it tastes as though there is only one note with multiple facets—a note than can be viewed or interpreted so that it seems like, maybe even becomes, many different notes.

The Cellar Reserve Edicion Especial compliments its impossibly mellow rustic wood flavor with an ever present but never overbearing creaminess, and sweet spicy notes show up as well.

It is a great way to ease folks into corojo flavor.

It is a great way to shock those like me who tend to think corojo = robust.

It is also just a great cigar.

Note: The fact that I would not call this cigar robust is not a demerit. Robust, forceful, can be great. So can other things. Imagine that the hot one at the Bitter Brick [6](you know who you mean) were to attack hug you one day. Now imagine she were to slide into the negative space between you and the couch or chair arm, unnoticed until you feel a subtle, gentle, pleasant increase in your temperature, remember that no, you did not in fact bring your kitten, and look her way.

In which instance are you displeased?

Halfwheel and the Gurkha website hint that yet another version of the Cellar Reserve will drop this year.  What kind of wrappers are even left at this point? Will it be a Connecticut (meh)? A Habano (I’m intrigued)? A Sumatra (PLEASE!!!)?

In the meantime: the first three celebrated Cellar Reserve blends are at Sweetbriar now; Gurkha cigars and the fabulous Ken Mansfield will be at Sweetbriar for our February 6^th Gurkha party.

[1] Criollo is a variety of tobacco with a distinctive yet hard to pin down flavor, closest to a light leathery flavor or the sugar present in coconut, also kind of like melted butter. It’s sweetness starts to mimic cream, a la certain plant foods like coconut or certain nuts or rice milk, but like those foods lands lighter on the palate than dairy, has a fleet finish, and lacks the lactose aftertaste of actual dairy or certain cigars with creamy notes.

[2] A cigar is nothing but leaves of tobacco wrapped around more leaves of tobacco. The leaves are trimmed, but not minced as they are for cigarette and some pipe tobaccos, rolled, and held together with natural plant derived glue. The wrapper is the outermost leaf, selected from only the choicest leaves, and is usually the most potent and flavorful leaf in the cigar. Hence, the wrapper contributes a high percentage of the flavor, even though most of the cigar usually consists of the interior leaves. Cigars are often identified or named by their wrapper leaves.

[3] Spanish for mature—in the context of cigars, refers to a leaf or leaves that has undergone a special, lengthier aging and fermentation process which causes the leaf to darken, sweeten, and take on a rich, dark, earthy flavor. When a company calls a cigar a maduro, it usually means, unless otherwise noted, that the wrapper leaf has been aged to maduro.

[4] Corojo is a variety of tobacco.

[5] Have I addressed this? In this context stick is a synonym for cigar, oh ye who lack capacity for inference.

[6] Our coffee producing neighbors

Cigar of the Week (week of 22 December 2014): The Classic Cigar Havana Blend

Cigar Goat here, celebrating week two of Sweetbriar Smokeshop’s eight week GURKHA MONTH.

Alright Gurkha: I’m confused.

I will explain why.

But first, if you have been reading these reviews, you might have noticed that there are no ratings, no simple “it’s good” or “it’s bad” verdict.
There are a number of reasons for that, the most important being that:
1. We don’t select bad cigars for our COTW reviews. While few if any cigars will fit every smoker’s palate, if we feature it, it is worth trying at least once.

2. We are here to inform and teach, not render verdicts. Nothing wrong with verdicts. Just not our aim here.

This week I am a bit lost. I promised to explain, didn’t I?

I will. I will do so in the course of my review of our CIGAR OF THE WEEK.

Cigar of the Week:

The Classic Cigar Havana Blend (by K. Hansotia’s East India Trading Company)

I am confused because I am not sure what they are going for.

The theme seems to be nautical.

Makes sense. We use nautical themes at the shop with tobacco names (Yachtsman, Viking, Buccaneer) because nautical feels like an escape or a vacation. It was a previous proprietor’s idea.

I like the other East India Trading Company chests. They also go nautical. I love the branding. It can work therapeutic. I have a Red Witch chest at home that I put stuff in.

Ready for my journey! For vacation in cigar form?

The Classic Cigar.

Havana Blend.

Are these warning signs? Safe to assume nautical taste, whatever that might be? Vacation taste, easier to approximate in one’s mind because however vague, if not presenting a range of options for flavor it at least would seem to rule out a number of them.

Some websites (Gurkha/CI) do say it’s meant to hearken back to Cuba.

I suppose the name is a cue.

Well, so what does it contain? What to expect?

Earth. An ocean of it, if you will. Gritty, rocky, flinty earth.

Did not expect that.

Bad? Unpleasant? NO. What did I JUST get through explaining?

“It’s old world” claims a co-worker of the gritty earthy taste that stampedes (that’s not a verb? Well I’m not a linguistic perscriptivist, so there!) out of the early puffs.

I have smoked three of the four sizes. I caution only do not smoke the XO the first time you try the blend. It is considerably more intense, or at least with less of the kind of balance (if one can call it that) that the interjection of the wrapper brings.

The toro is nearest in my mind, and it’s kind of a medium between the robusto and the XO, probably a choice get-to-know-you stick.  The most prominent note, at first, is earth, a distinctive gritty earth, rocky, asphalt, gritty and strong to the point that it reads almost like pepper. Gritty, even prickly and tingly. Again, a co-worker said old world. His words there did, I think help it to make sense to me, at least in the way that it might be Cuban-esque. Of course, I don’t remember old world or old Havana myself. I have to take others’ word for it.

The nose puffs bring a piquant or sharp textured note, sharp in the way wine or wood smoke is, though it rounds off, though, waxes gasoline in its piquancy. I just compared the flavor of the smoke to the scent of gasoline. That’s probably a faux pas. It sounds like a knock. But is it? Why would it be? So much of the wonder of cigars is getting to taste what you often only get to smell–remember, dirt, grass, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, roasted coffee. In the latter item, I mean one gets to taste the way coffee smells. And now add gasoline to that list, at least in some form (the note in question is hard to grab ahold of and also has elements of wood, wine, and vegetable). You know you like the smell of it, sneaking clandestine whiffs at the pump as a tot before Mom chastised you.
This is not a play by play. The cigar is too perplexing, the notes joined together and hard to pry apart (No, I do not, in fact, mean to say pick apart–the notes are joined together so closely and firmly one would need a crowbar equipped to slip between particles to get a neat classification going–okay, well that’s pretty hyperbolic. Give me time and maybe I will have this thing pigeonholed. Just not today.) You get blasts of gritty earth on the puff with other stuff showing up.

• Beans of every kind, including bean beans, vegetable notes, leafy, cocoa bean, at least in powder form though that is possibly the texture, coffee bean and grounds too.
• Smoke mimics mint, maybe in what it does, sharp or piquant action, more so than flavor. And I could have sworn I got that same type deal but with cinnamon late into one of the sticks, robusto size.
• Profoundly planty.
• Chocolate and vanilla bean and coffee for people who would prefer to bite into those without washing the dirt off first.
• DARK coffee flavors.
• Sometimes smooth notes, dark chocolate like sweetness or roasted coffee or dark wood or the wood rounds and waxes into gasoline, softer notes like powdery vanilla or cocoa or coffee like sweet flavor comes in, sometimes a roasted nuttiness-sweetness as well.
• Sweetness is mild, pushed down in the mix frequently, and also does not always show up in a big way. Earthy/gritty lets up for moments through the course of the stick.
• Some rocky, flinty, mineral, asphalt, earth notes are joined to a winey or woodsy texture and taste at times–fermented rock. Asphalt wine. Mineral liquor. Flint brandy.

But yes, winey, smoky, but primarily gritty earth texture (and flavor) with some coffee and cocoa like powdery-ness. It is not smooth. But it is not harsh. Quit using that word to describe cigars. A roller coaster is not smooth. There are other textures besides smooth. If your mind is closed to them, I do not say this often, you’re smoking wrong.

Until next time,
The (Sweetbriar) Cigar Goat

Cigar of the Week (week of 15 December 2014): Pedro Martin Ruby

Word to the late Douglas Adams: In which we we begin our inaccurately named Gurkha month, where we will be featuring Gurkha cigars for the next 8 weeks^[1].

CIGAR OF THE WEEK:

Pedro Martin Ruby (robusto size smoked for review)

But wait, isn’t this Gurkha month? What’s this about a Pedro Martin, you ask?

According to Halfwheel, Gurkha purchased the Pedro Martin brand and is now reviving it^[2]. NEXT QUESTION.

Huh. No more questions? Okay, well, I guess now is where I, T.C. Goat, Esq. (I barely know what that means) usually dispense advice.
Huh. I’ll think of something.

I’m just going to start reviewing the cigar. I’m sure something will come to me.

Okay, so the Pedro Martin Ruby is wrapped^[3] with a Colorado Corojo wrapper leaf.

Corojo is a variety of tobacco, a particular seed. Colorado is a color, and leaves are sometimes grouped by color. But what does it mean about the plant or flavor or taste, if anything? TCG^[4] finds some of these terms^[5] to be perplexing.

Can we solve this mystery? WHAT is the meaning of this term, Colorado?

Well, let us see what we can piece together.

The CIGAR GOAT IN: The Mystery of the Mysterious Colorado (WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!)

Clues:
The binder^[6] is Nicaraguan. So is the filler^[7].

The Halfwheel article does not know from whence the wrapper leaf came. The Gurkha website ain’t talking either.

So we know that the wrapper leaf is Colorado Corojo, we know what Corojo means, and we are not told the country of origin. We are told that the binder and filler are from Nicaragua.

Turn to page 233 for the solution.

PAGE 233:
SOLUTION (Arrived at through deduction or something):
So if the only mystery is the origin of the wrapper leaf, logic (represented by this symbol: ⊕) dictates that Colorado, mystery word here, must be linked to the mystery of the country where it is grown.

Ergo (⊕), Colorado must mean MYSTERY!!!

Thus concludes The Mystery of the Mysterious Colorado.

As for the second c, well, contra Naughty by Nature, it is quite simple(er).

Corojo is an old Cuban tobacco variety that often has a sweet, somewhat round woodsy taste, often accompanied by varying degrees of tanginess and/or sweet spice notes.

Wait, you want me to review it now, you say? You want me to cease the shenanigans and actually tell you what it tastes like?

ME?! As though goats were known for their CONSUMPTION HABITS?!?!

FINE.

The Ruby is woodsy. Also, here are some pictures I took of it:

Right. Review. Focus.

There are a number of sweet notes, starting with a big caramel and vanilla like sugar flavor that hits the palate first. It has a floral-ness to it as well.  Put ‘em together, it is like the fluffy powdered sugar covered rose syrup Turkish delight, at least a bit. The woodsy note follows the fluffy powdery sugar note on the mouth puff, though the wood is more prominent on the retrohale[8]. The wood note has almost a fruit sugar tartness to it. The wood note is also rustic, a bit, and gets nicely mellow and more rustic later on in the stick. The wood note comes to the fore later, at various points mingling—deliciously–with the caramel/vanilla and floral notes.

Nicaraguan tobacco often follows one of two forks—spicy or creamy milk chocolate. This cigar is not quite either of those, though it almost waxes or references Nicaraguan creamy and creamy milk chocolate without fully giving over or relinquishing its distinctive character. The retrohale later brings wood that sometimes takes on a zesty crispness, almost Connecticut like but, in a way, more pleasant, or nicer when combined with the other notes. The crispness in Connecticuts often feels like a bit of a bite on the tongue. The analogous note here is refreshing.

Anyway, smoke it. It is medium bodied but brings plenty of flavor.

As always,
Your Sweetbriar Cigar Goat

^[1] http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a6/Mostly_Harmless_Harmony_front.jpg

^[2] http://halfwheel.com/pedro-martin-ruby-back/63815

^[3] We been thru this. Look at the cigar. See the tobacco? Yes, the outside. No, not the pretty ring: that’s the band. The tobacco you can see. The part of the cigar you can see. Wait, do I mean that reddish brown paper on the outside? THAT IS NOT PAPER–that is a tobacco leaf. THAT is the wrapper.

^[4] That’s me!

^[5] I’M LOOKING AT YOU OSCURO!

^[6] UR IMPOSSIBLE!!! https://www.google.com/search?q=cigar+binder&rlz=1C1LENP_enUS552US552&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=lOCRVNrUD9HkggS3zYDIAg&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAg&biw=1280&bih=598&dpr=1.5

^[7] ARGGH!!!
https://www.google.com/search?q=cigar+binder&rlz=1C1LENP_enUS552US552&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=lOCRVNrUD9HkggS3zYDIAg&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAg&biw=1280&bih=598&dpr=1.5#tbm=isch&q=cigar+filler

[8] Draw the smoke into your mouth. Now close your mouth. Take puffs through your nose, like a dragon puffing smoke out his nostrils. Notice how you taste somewhat different flavors than you do when you puff out your mouth. You just retrohaled. Congratulations.

Cigar of the Week (week of 8 December 2014): Undercrown

Cigar Goat, back again, check it to wreck it let’s begin^[1], for the final (for now) cigar review in our SPOTLIGHT ON DREW ESTATE series, leading up to our Drew Estate Holiday Party THIS FRIDAY!!! December 12th from 2-8 P.M. Whoomp! (There It Is)

Cigar of the Week: Drew Estate Undercrown (belicoso size smoked for review)

In which T. Cigar Goat (the T stands for The) reviews Drew Estate’s most perplexing of maduros:

What is a maduro, you ask? You don’t know?! UGH. You’re impossible. You’re almost as bad as elitist jerks who look down on people for not knowing cigar terms.

First, a bit of CIG 101:

If you’re new to cigars, know that companies often call cigars, often classify them, by their wrapper leaf, which is the outermost leaf of a cigar^[2]. If a person or cigar advertisement or catalog refers to a cigar as a Sumatra or a Connecticut or a maduro, for example, they mean that the wrapper leaf on the cigar is Sumatra, Connecticut, Maduro, etc.

Typically the name or variety of the wrapper refers to the type of tobacco:

• Sometimes the wrapper is named by the variety of teh seed of tobacco (Corojo, Criollo, etc.),
• Sometimes both the seed and country of origin (Sumatra, Connecticut^[3], etc.)
• Sometimes the growing process (shade or shade grown, sun grown)
• Sometimes the curing and/or fermentation process (Candela, maduro)
• Sometimes the wrapper is named by the seed and the curing and fermentation process together (Habano means Cuban seed tobacco fermented using traditional Cuban methods)
• Sometimes you get combinations of these terms (Corojo maduro, Dominican Criollo, Connecticut shade grown, Ecuador Sumatra^[4], etc.).
• Sometimes you get a wrapper named by a term that no two companies can seem to agree on^[5].

The Undercrown is a maduro. That means that the outermost leaf of the cigar was aged for an extra long time and aged and fermented in such a way that the leaf darkens. The process also causes a greater buildup of sugar in the leaf. Maduros are known for dark, rich, thick, sweet flavors.

They are not necessarily stronger or more full bodied than other types of cigars.

Some people have heard that the lighter a cigar appears, the milder it is: the darker, the stronger.

Have you heard that?

Forget it.

It is nonsense.

Such misinformation will do you no good.

BUT, BUT, BUT, IF THAT IS NOT TRUE, CLUTCH THE PEARLS, HOW WILL I KNOW WHICH CIGARS TO SELECT?!?!
First of all, Drama Quing (that is a portmanteau and not a misspelling), this selecting of cigars by strength thing that people seem to be learning from, honestly, I don’t know where?

POINTLESS
You have no idea how long I have needed to get that off my (considerably hairy) chest.

Also, if you really want to know how strong a cigar is: ask somebody. Ask us here at Sweetbriar. Or check a website that does cigar reviews. Or check the official cigar company websites. OR QUIT BEING A PANSY AND JUST SMOKE EVERYTHING.

You go into a shop and ask for a “mild cigar that isn’t harsh?”

NO! CEASE YOUR IGNORANCE!

Things to consider when selecting a cigar:
1. Flavor
2. THAT’S IT
Asking for a cigar that isn’t harsh is like going to a restaurant and asking them to recommend a dish that isn’t disgusting.

You want a cigar that is not harsh? GASP! You mean, you actually want to ENJOY SMOKING IT?
Try this, talking flavor rather than talking, uh, Imma be honest, nonsense. That’s all this mild vs. harsh business really is^[6].

“Shopkeep, please show me cigars which are a. light on the palate rather than heavy or b. smooth rather than spicy.”

I DEMAND THAT YOU INTERNALIZE THIS ADVICE. LOVE MY CORRECTION! LOVE IT!!!  (Homer Simpson voice)

I promise if you come to the shop I will be way nicer than this.

And I’m supposed to have reviewed a cigar by now. Focus.

Undercrown:

The Undercrown (belicoso size smoked for review) has a dark, charry, smoky wood note, that favors the smoke coming off wood or the smoky flavor in smoked meat, and is even kind of alcohol (most nearly wine) like, or maybe right between, stuck between alcohol and wood, or a merge of alcohol and wood to the point of in-(or-at-least-hard-to)-distinguishability. There is a slight fruit hint, earthy notes, and the flavor smacks maybe a bit of coffee, or rather a bit like coffee, but absent any of the bitter notes of coffee. The occasionally powdery-fluffy texture of the smoke is at least in part responsible for this. Slight nutty and herbal qualities and a cream sweetness show up at points, the latter very lactose like.
A Cigar Aficionado review mentioned one vitola of this stick having a cola note. Maybe it would be best to describe it as, well, we don’t normally taste a cola nut but rather we taste the artificial version which is based on the original, more or less. So, think about artificial flavors like cherry and grape, and how the real thing differs. The note in the Undercrown tastes like what might be the natural ancestor of the cola we taste. This maybe?: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kola_nut
Speaking of ancestor, the Undercrown does taste, not similar exactly, but as though it shares a common ancestor with the Liga Privada #9 (even if said ancestor is from a generation back or so, and I believe the Undercrown tested for the review is the same size as the #9 I smoked). The Liga Privada #9 belicoso has classic maduro notes, like coffee and earth, but is notably absent chocolate. The Undercrown is as well for the most part, flirting with some qualities of chocolate at some points but more resembling an all natural imitation chocolate, or, rather the other tastes combine, and their flavor together wave at chocolate from across a crowded room.

As for the two sticks tasting as though they share a common ancestor? That’s because they do–http://drewestate.com/?portfolio=undercrown-cigars. It is not a bargain basement version, either. Heck, even an attempt to create a bargain version would, as is always the case with a product as unstable as tobacco, what have we learned?, produce something entirely different. Undercrown is its own blend. Come get some.

Yours,
The Cigar Goat

^[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-FPimCmbX8

^[2] In a previous review I mentioned that a cigar is nothing but long tobacco leaves which are cut and rolled inside even more tobacco leaves. The bunch of several leaves in the center is the filler, the filler is held together by a leaf (sometimes two leaves) called the binder, and the binder is wrapped inside, well, the wrapper.

^[3] YES I KNOW CONNECTICUT IS NOT A COUNTRY CONNECTICUT ALWAYS MEANS U.S. GROWN UNLESS NOTED OTHERWISE

^[4] If you get two location names together like this, the first location is where the tobacco was grown and the second location is the variety of tobacco, so that Ecuador Sumatra would be Sumatra seed grown in Ecuador.

^[5] OSCURO–good luck figuring that one out.

^[6] I know there are some seasoned folks who really do to prefer flavors that tend to show up in mild cigars or in medium bodied cigars, etc. and so use such terms as shorthand when shopping. Cigar Goat means you no disrespect–cigar ignorance simply peeves him more than referring to oneself in third person.

Cigar of the Week (week of 1 December 2014): Kentucky Fire Cured MUWAT

Sweetbriar Cigar Goat here, again, here to review more of Drew Estate’s exotic sticks. I had to go pretty far down the memory rabbit hole to figure out this week’s smokes (Did I just reference the Matrix again? How many reviews is this?). Enjoying them is simple, easy, anyone can do it, but I am the Cigar Goat and I strive to understand.

Before we continue–cigar vocabulary for today:
Wood/woodsy notes^[1]/wood hints etc. = a cigar tastes similar to how wood smells; sometimes we say woodsy, sometimes we get specific (e.g. cedar notes), sometimes we mean burning wood, sometimes burning and/or non-burning.

Earth/earthy/earth notes = Think how dirt–literal earth–and other dirt like stuff smells. Again, this could refer to earth in general or a specific kind (like topsoil)^[2].
Want to taste those and other exotic flavors, beyond what jelly beans can offer and without the hassle, cost, and exclusivity of a haute cuisine eatery? Welcome to cigars.

Drew Estate Cigar Spotlight, Week 2:

Drew Estate makes cigars for everybody, Sweetbriar finds cigars for everybody, so, can we find your match? We’re like match.com only we match for free and there is no chance cigars will ever cheat on you.

You say you don’t like cigars?

Well, do you like the smell of barbecue? Did you ever have an older relative, a grandfather maybe, who smoked a pipe, and did you like the sweet smell of it? Either? Both?

Welcome to Kentucky Fire Cured cigars.

Cigar of the Week: Kentucky Fire Cured MUWAT
MUWAT stands for “My Uzi Weighs a Ton.” That is the actual name of the cigar. Go here if you want to know why: https://web.archive.org/web/20131116211038/http://drewestate.com/?portfolio=my-uzi-weighs-a-ton-cigars

Drew Estate recently modified the recipe to include Kentucky fire cure tobacco, and the KFC MUWAT was born. No offense to the Colonel, but we might have a new finger-lickin’-good champ.

I recommend the size dubbed Fat Molly.

The flavor is profoundly smoky. I mean, duh, of course, but smoky like, think burning wood, think a grill or pit and the smoke coming off the wood and meat. Think about driving by Country’s Barbecue and you’re in the ballpark.

The website (http://drewestate.com/?portfolio=kentucky-fire-cured) is correct: the front end^[3] has that big smokiness, not so much a woodsy flavor, but the flavor of the smoke made by, coming off, the heated oils or sap or whatever it is in wood that makes that smell I AM NOT A BOTANIST yeesh give me a break.
Creamy notes come into play, alternating with rich tobacco and a powdery fluffy sugar note, all on the front end and the retrohale^[4], while the finish at least shares a common ancestor with tea and herbs. A mineral like note appears late in the stick. A toasty bread like flavor, earthy notes, and an alcohol-ish ferment-y taste show up as well. The cigar is described as peaty, so that last note makes sense because of what peat or peaty actually is: http://www.foodrepublic.com/2013/03/29/what-does-peaty-mean

All cigars nowadays are descended from Cuban cigar culture, much like modern cusine comes out of French cooking culture. Drew Estate has here made a hybrid of Havana cigar culture and pipe tobacco culture, the latter being already known for its intense barbecue like smokiness. Why did the do this? Well it tastes great. But I’d like to think, mad scientist punk rockers that they are, they wish to confound and even infuriate cigar elitists who insist on only the most rigid classicism.

It’s full flavored but medium/medium+ bodied. Has the not-quite-bombastic flavor oomph of the infused sticks. However “refined” your palate is (or isn’t) you will be able to taste this.

For the record, read item #4 of this list to discover why some of this refined palate talk is just nonsense: http://www.cracked.com/article_21668_6-ridiculous-drinking-myths-you-probably-believe.html

Yes, I got my science from a comedy website. You’re reading a cigar review written by a goat.

Still with me? Savory smoke, barbecue not really your thing? Want something that hearkens back to your grandpa’s pipe smell?

BONUS review: Natural Dirt Torpedo:

It has a rich tobacco core, molecularly inseparable from the sweet note, which is vanilla bean like, with a tad of funky roundness to it; sugary, it is like the rose syrup+powdered sugar Turkish delight (or any soft jelly candy covered in powdered sugar) rather than the lemon one (there is a cigar match for that one as well, but that will be my secret for the time being). Fluffy, sweet, sugary, powdery, the sugar note runs over the palate, but the palate cannot quite clutch it, lay hold of it. Think of  the somewhat elusive sweet note, sugar, present in Nutella or sweetened condensed milk. The sweetness becomes charrier towards the end of the cigar. Charred candy. Where could you get that but from an expensive high end restaurant or a disastrous home cooking experiment? Cigars. That’s where.

Also, it smells like gummy bears.

Come party with Drew Estate at Sweetbriar, December 12th, from 2 P.M. – until we get bored.

Yours,
The Cigar Goat

^[1]  Have we covered notes yet? Just in case: *Cigar speak: notes refers to the different flavors present in the smoke. We say notes rather than flavors usually when we are talking about a non-flavored cigar. Some cigars actually have coffee, vanilla, rum, etc. flavor added to the tobacco, while plain tobacco-only cigars produce flavors that suggest other smells and tastes besides tobacco, or at least flavors that are easiest to understand when we compare them to the taste or smell of foods, drinks, and so on (though of course all cigars do taste like tobacco).

^[2] The easiest way to understand this? Go get some of those Bertie Botts Every Flavour jelly beans and eat the dirt flavored one, and the grass one for good measure. It turns out it is not the flavor but the texture and the unsanitary-ness (is that a word? It is now.) that makes eating dirt and grass unpleasant.

1. ^[3]*Cigar speak: front end is not a cigar specific term–I am referring to the taste of the smoke as it washes over the palate.
2. Palate in this case refers to the sense of taste. You taste cigars with your tongue, with your taste buds, and with your nose as you puff the smoke.
3. I use the term front end to contrast those flavors with the finish. Flavors come in a particular order. Think about how when you sip a drink, you might, for example, taste a tart flavor, and then as the liquid runs over the middle and back of your tongue, you begin to taste a mellower sweet flavor. If you’ve never noticed this, pay attention the next time you drink a soda or juice or wine. The flavor you get on the back of the tongue, the last bit of taste bud action before the liquid plunges into your throat, along with any lingering aftertaste, is what I mean by the finish. You taste cigar smoke as it goes out of your mouth rather than in, but it still works kind of like liquid.

^[4] *Cigar speak: Retrohale, which can be a noun or verb, means closing your mouth and puffing out your nose. You taste using your sinuses whether you puff out your mouth or your nose, but you taste different notes on the mouth puff than you do the retrohale.

Cigar of the Week (week of 24 November 2014): ACID Kuba Kuba

A belated introduction to myself:

Sweetbriar Cigar Goat here (so named for my willingness to smoke everything). I speak for the leaves. I try to.

• I work at Sweetbriar Smokeshop in Columbus, GA. We endeavor to be the best little smoke shop in…anywhere.
• Which employee am I? I am any of them, all of them.
• You can keep up with the shop and our latest deals, parties, ventures, and shenanigans on Facebook and Twitter: https://www.facebook.com/sweetbriarsmoke and https://twitter.com/sweetbriarsmoke
• So, what follows is an intro to this column and Sweetbriar’s mission. Stick around and I will review our cigar of the week, the ACID Kuba Kuba. Stick around for longer and I will review it in depth. Stick around EVEN LONGER and I will review a bonus stick, the ACID BLONDIE.
• Along the way we will discuss cigar facts, tips, and Broadway musicals.

Ready? Here we go!

1. A belated introduction to this column:
   We at Sweetbriar believe that cigars are for everyone. We believe that there is a cigar for everyone. We believe there are no true non-smokers (to those allergic, forgive the generalization and we will try to keep it out of your face).

“I don’t like cigars.” That’s kind of like saying “I don’t like scents” or “I don’t like flavors.” Cigars encompass an almost incomprehensible range of scents and flavors. And you would write them all off, sight unsmoked? It would be ignorant to dismiss pâté or caviar as gross from the outset. So it is with cigars. Do yourself a favor: end your bigotry.

To that end, every week I will spotlight a cigar from the shop, review it, and throw in cigar tips and facts for hungry minds, newb and seasoned smoker alike.

And we need more newbs. If you are interested in cigars but find it intimidating, don’t. Get in here. More people into cigars means more fun for all of us^[1]. Wondrous experiences await.
And when you come in, don’t apologize for being new. Don’t apologize to anyone. There is no price of admission for becoming a cigar aficionado. If you smoke ‘em and you like ‘em, you’re one of us.
We got all the seasoned smokers a body could want. We need newbs. We want newbs.

If you hate the term newb, well, we need new smokers.

If the industry is ingrown it has nowhere to go. Get in here and help us kick down the door of the insiders only elitist club. Help wreck it. Help wipe the stupid condescending smirk off every pretentious face.

Drew Estate can help. We at Sweetbriar believe there is a cigar for everybody and Drew Estate makes a cigar for everybody. If they haven’t made yours yet, give them time.  In this week and the next two, leading up to our Drew Estate holiday bash on December 12, let the two of us take you there. To cigars.
Right, right, cigar review. Focus. Without further ado:
2. Cigar of the week: ACID Kuba Kuba:
Drew Estate (along with partner in crime Joya de Nicaragua) makes a variety of sticks, but are perhaps most known for their infused cigars, which include Tabak Especial coffee infused, Isla Del Sol (also coffee infused), Ambrosia, and most famously, ACID. They make not safe or pandering  crowd pleasers but peculiar cigars for peculiar people, peculiar palates, and they wait on shelves for the right people to find them.

Well, folks have sure found the Kuba Kuba. It is Sumatra wrapped*^[2] (I have not yet found if it is Ecuador grown Sumatra seed or the less common Indonesian grown variety) and like all ACID cigars it is infused with botanicals or oils or botanical oils or eleven secret herbs and spices blah blah blah blah. It has a sweetened cap*^[3] so it is sweet to the taste even before the light. A customer described ACIDs as tasting like potpourri smells and he isn’t wrong. After the light, the first half of the cigar packs the expected flowery notes from the botanical oils along with a rich tobacco core*^[4] that leans woodsy and winey: bread like toasty notes, cinnamon-ish spice, creamy comes in later, as do herbal and tea-like notes.

It also packs flavors that are on the tip of my tongue but that I cannot quite identify or put words to. The tobacco and infused flavors blend, fade into each other, for an elegant, one of a kind balance that, sweet though it is, cannot but perplex. If you are like the Cigar Goat and have a restless, insatiable mind that insists on 100% brain to tastebuds-nose-senses-palate correspondence, and a duty to report your smokings in excruciating(ly pleasurable) detail, the Kuba Kuba will likely confound you, even as you enjoy it, just like dating amirite. But if you’re just here to party? Kuba will, Sky Corrigan, be a lady tonight^[5].

Cannot make it simple, and yet at the same time it is as easy as show-up-and-smoke. I’m not surprised it found a cult. But one so large? It was, in fact, the best selling cigar of 2013.

Still with me? Want to go further?

If not: the ACID Kuba Kuba is $10.50 at Sweetbriar Smokeshop. If you want a better deal on them than that, come to our Drew Estate party, free open invitation bring friends bring strangers. Actually, come no matter what. December 12th, 2014, 2-8 PM.
Now, if you think brevity is for suckers and you geek out on TMI, below we present the unabridged version of:
A Tale of Two ACIDs
Acid the Second

Why review a second ACID? Well, the Blondie is smaller and cheaper than the Kuba Kuba, and so a better fit for those hesitant to invest time and money.

Also, Drew Estate rep. Jeff Tinnell recommends the Blondie or the Kuba Kuba as a good introduction to ACID cigars. Cigar Goat’s verdict: you need to smoke BOTH for a proper introduction to ACIDs. Don’t make up your mind before then.

The Blondie has the blue ACID label, the same color as the Kuba Kuba, and so is infused with the same blend of botanicals as the Kuba and the other ACID blue labels. As usual, the botanical blend itself is a company secret, and ACID will only tell us what tobacco each blue label stick consists of. Considering its reputation as new smoker friendly, the Blondie has a surprising amount of body*^[6] and the Drew Estate website tells the truth–it is only slightly sweet. The cap sweetness does not remain for the whole stick or at least gets significantly less noticeable over the course of the smoke. The infusion does not sit on top of the flavor profile and the Connecticut shade flavor is surprisingly pronounced: woodsy, perhaps waxes or flirts with crisp but stays woodsy, with a very noticeable and pronounced rich tobacco core. The tobacco and infusion flavors blend, with the tobacco pulling pretty far ahead by the end of the stick. As with the Kuba Kuba, it is not always easy to tell where the tobacco flavor ends and the botanical begins, though the tobacco note is bigger in the Blondie. The flavor is also toasty, and the wood fades in and out of a nutty note that becomes prominent on the finish*^[7]

They are $5.95 flavor bombs that because of their size eat like a meal*^[8].
See you December 12th, and check our Facebook and Twitter for updates and other deals,
The Cigar Goat

^[1] http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-ridiculous-things-about-calling-out-fake-fangirls/
See sentence 3 under subheading There Is No Such Thing as a “Real” Geek

^[2] *Cigar speak: Sumatra wrapped means that the outermost leaf, known as the wrapper–keep in mind that cigars are traditionally nothing but tobacco leaves bunched up together and wrapped inside more tobacco leaves–

^[3] *Note on cigar speak: some brands, including flavored cigars and plain cigars, sweeten the caps on certain sticks which means that the portion of the cigar above the band is glazed with an invisible natural or artificial sweetener.

^[4] *Cigar speak: when I say a cigar has “rich tobacco flavor” or a rich or something tobacco core, I mean there’s a prominent or even controlling flavor that is plain and pure tasting, like a super cigarette (how my brother-in-law describes it), or rather, the platonic ideal of a cigarette, the same plain and pure flavor, sometimes close to an organic variety like some American Spirits, the handmade bar burger to a cigarette’s McDouble.

^[5] In the interest of saving folks a trip to Google, in Guys and Dolls the character Sky Corrigan asks (sings) luck to be a lady as he prepares to gamble.

^[6] *Cigar speak: The weight, the heaviness or potency of the flavor–most full bodied cigars are either heavy and rich, bold and spicy, or both. A lager is usually mild or medium bodied while a stout is full bodied. Or, think a mild fruit like a pear vs. a thick steak (rich full bodied) or a Thai stir fry (spicy full bodied). Body is not the same as strength, though full bodied cigars are usually the strongest and vice versa.

^[7] *Cigar speak: the last note you taste as the smoke exits, or the flavor that lingers after you release the smoke, often most present if you smack after you puff

^[8] *Cigar speak: Common wisdom is that in smaller cigars, you get a larger percentage of wrapper tobacco. The wrappers are usually chosen from among the most potent, flavorful leaves, and the wrapper is usually the single most flavorful leaf in a cigar. But most cigars only have one wrapper leaf. Hence, any increase in size is mostly an increase in the typically less potent, less flavorful filler leaves. A customer remembers hearing a podcast author liken paying more for bigger sticks to paying for extra Coke in a Rum & Coke. But the individual palate is king, and the best solution is to smoke all the sizes of a cigar and see which you like best .